We have great personal news to report...... No new episodes or changes! Things are going great just by being normal. Yup, normal highs and lows. We continue to make steady progress in getting in learning how to deal with a wide range of emotions in an appropriate manner and what many people consider "normal" expressions and coping skills. We have had moments of happiness, sadness, irritability, frustration, silliness, bitterness, disappointments, pleasant surprises, anger, and even a moment of terror that we were afraid would cause a set back. And best of all, we dealt with them all sanely, not always calmly but with no outbursts. The strands of lights get to go back up on the walls, with the thumbtacks holding them up.
How did we get to this point? Constant determination, support, love, structured routines, affirmations, reassurances, and encouragement. We refused to give up. We refused to back down. We refused to take a break. We refused to give up hope. We stayed proactive. We adapted and made changes to what emphasize what worked and get past what didn't work. We built on our individual strengths to try to be the strongest combined unit.
Are we "cured"? Have we beat these problems? Have we prevented them from ever happening again. No, not by a long shot. But we are in this for the long haul. And each month we go without a crisis, without imminent fear of self-harm is another closer to making it a year. Each year will bring us closer to achieving that dream of a long, healthy life.
So, that is where we are at today with our personal news. On a subject that is also personal to us, but involves other people - we feel like we are making a small difference in helping others. We have one mom who was encouraged to trust her instincts and simply given a single phone number to help her find the resources she believed she needed. Since then, she has discovered heartbreaking information but is able to seek the help she already knew she needed. We will continue to keep mom and family in our thoughts and prayers while she begins her own difficult journey. And we will be available to help her find whatever resources she needs, if she has any further difficulties on finding them. I doubt that she will need much help, she is a tough cookie and is already getting the help for her child that is needed.
Another mom needed help finding an agency near her to assist with a situation in her home. We helped locate the appropriate agency and looked up some laws pertaining to her situation. We were able to help her get started on getting this situation resolved in the quickest manner legally possible. That situation should be on its way to being a part of her past by the end of this month.
So, with all of this tooting our own horn, just what did we do - very little actually. But sometimes, it is the very little assistance that we need the most to get started. Both of these moms are very capable women and were able to pursue the actions that they needed to take. But both are busy moms and in the middle of dealing with issues that makes trying to figure out where to turn to get started a struggle all by itself.
Those "very little" moments of assistance is what we are able to do best. It takes just a moment of our time and it is what we want to do. It costs us nothing, and we don't charge anything for simply helping another mom (or dad someday) out. I cannot think of a single act of assistance that we would ever need to charge for. We are not professionals running a business. We are simply a family who has struggled and wants to help other families from struggling any more than necessary. That kind of assistance should never come with a price tag.
So, if you or someone you know, needs some free assistance - looking up resources in your area, writing a letter, finding local agencies, or simply someone to listen to you - send us a message. We are here for you and we will be glad to help.
Monday, February 15, 2016
Monday, February 8, 2016
This Is What We Do........
This past week we were able to help out a mother who has found herself, and her family, in an emotionally toxic home environment. Sadly, she feels that this is being caused by her own mother, the children's grandmother, who also is residing in the home and refusing to leave. The children's mom now has a court date scheduled to have this remedied and is greatly relieved to feel that there is some end to emotional harm that is happening to her children.
So what did we do to help this situation? Very little actually. We spoke further to gather as much information as we could, so that we could best help her. We discovered that she was having difficulty with finding agency numbers to contact in the area she lived in (this we discovered being due to agencies covering multiple counties). We started an immediate search into locating appropriate agencies and provided that information to her. Then, after these agencies agreed upon the most obvious course of action, we dug into the state laws and how best to proceed. We passed on all information to her, so that she could proceed to do what she needed to do for her family.
What we didn't do... we did not try to resolve matters ourselves. We are neither trained nor licensed to provide any legal, medical, or counseling assistance. But we do have some skill in online research and are able to help point people in the right direction. We don't charge any fees, we don't ask for any donations. We have the time and ability to provide simple assistance in helping families help themselves. That is what we do. That is what we look forward to doing on a larger scale. Provide simple assistance, be it looking up agency numbers, information on how to proceed legally, writing letters, lending an ear, or simply asking others for advice. Someday, we hope to have a network of other volunteers, ready to help families find the resources that they need for their children.
This is what we do.... and it felt good being able to do it.
So what did we do to help this situation? Very little actually. We spoke further to gather as much information as we could, so that we could best help her. We discovered that she was having difficulty with finding agency numbers to contact in the area she lived in (this we discovered being due to agencies covering multiple counties). We started an immediate search into locating appropriate agencies and provided that information to her. Then, after these agencies agreed upon the most obvious course of action, we dug into the state laws and how best to proceed. We passed on all information to her, so that she could proceed to do what she needed to do for her family.
What we didn't do... we did not try to resolve matters ourselves. We are neither trained nor licensed to provide any legal, medical, or counseling assistance. But we do have some skill in online research and are able to help point people in the right direction. We don't charge any fees, we don't ask for any donations. We have the time and ability to provide simple assistance in helping families help themselves. That is what we do. That is what we look forward to doing on a larger scale. Provide simple assistance, be it looking up agency numbers, information on how to proceed legally, writing letters, lending an ear, or simply asking others for advice. Someday, we hope to have a network of other volunteers, ready to help families find the resources that they need for their children.
This is what we do.... and it felt good being able to do it.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
A Cry For Help....Can You Help This Family?
An Indiana mother needs help in how to protect her children's emotional and mental well being, from their own grandmother whom is currently living in their home. There has been a long family history of abandonment (when the mother was 10 years old), previous alcoholism, and a belief of current prescription drug addiction. There have been reconciliations during the better times, and an attempt at forming relationships that were previously shattered, which is what lead to the grandmother residing in the home after years of dysfunction. Her daughter believed that her mother had changed and for the sake of her children, allowed her back into her life and tried to help her out. She realizes now that it was a mistake and for the sake of her children, her mother needs to find somewhere else to live. But her mother refuses to leave, makes threats to call Adult Protective Services on her daughter for such things as not driving 0.2 miles to get a soda pop, and snubs the older children for not "being on her side".
This is adversely affecting all four of the children in the home. But even worse, there is a teenage son in the home, who has suffered for years from emotional and mental issues. His therapist agrees that the grandmother is causing him setbacks in all of his progress and hindering future progress. This child has fought a long road of residential care and intensive therapy to reach the progress he has made, and it is threatening to become undone because of the toxic environment his grandmother is creating.
This mother doesn't know where to turn and needs our help. Current laws in many states would involve removing the children (if they are at risk) until the offending adult is removed. But how is a mother able to have an emotionally harmful person removed for her children's sake? The grandmother is 56 years old, able to care for herself, and do everything but drive (due to her previous DUI convictions). The children's mother is doing everything she can to keep the emotional environment stable for her children. But this family is being held emotionally hostage in their own home but the selfish behavior of one person who refuses to leave.
Please, if you know of any agencies the mother can turn to for help, have any advice on how to proceed in the best way for her children, or have ever faced or know someone who has faced a similar situation - please, contact me. While I am omitting this family's names and information for privacy reasons, the children's mother is more than willing to talk to anyone directly, who might be able to help her help her children.
This is adversely affecting all four of the children in the home. But even worse, there is a teenage son in the home, who has suffered for years from emotional and mental issues. His therapist agrees that the grandmother is causing him setbacks in all of his progress and hindering future progress. This child has fought a long road of residential care and intensive therapy to reach the progress he has made, and it is threatening to become undone because of the toxic environment his grandmother is creating.
This mother doesn't know where to turn and needs our help. Current laws in many states would involve removing the children (if they are at risk) until the offending adult is removed. But how is a mother able to have an emotionally harmful person removed for her children's sake? The grandmother is 56 years old, able to care for herself, and do everything but drive (due to her previous DUI convictions). The children's mother is doing everything she can to keep the emotional environment stable for her children. But this family is being held emotionally hostage in their own home but the selfish behavior of one person who refuses to leave.
Please, if you know of any agencies the mother can turn to for help, have any advice on how to proceed in the best way for her children, or have ever faced or know someone who has faced a similar situation - please, contact me. While I am omitting this family's names and information for privacy reasons, the children's mother is more than willing to talk to anyone directly, who might be able to help her help her children.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)