Tomorrow we have an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) to confirm my granddaughter's "Home and Hospital" home studies. I say "confirm" because her doctor has already sent in the recommendation for this. So why are we feeling like we are "facing off against the school"? Because of the perceived (or real?) attitudes we feel we have already faced. When a parent is told that their child is believed to be "just manipulating her mother" that leads the parent to believe that this staff does not feel her child's illness is real. When a parent is told that two self-admitted suicide attempts are "not counted, because they were undocumented by medical professionals", that leads the parent to believe that this staff does not recognize the seriousness of her child's illness. When a parent is told that her child has two options - either "test out" (take a proficiency test) or be transferred to a continuation school (where many juvenile offenders are placed as well), that leads the parent to believe that the school is only interested in getting "head count" credit (and funding) or getting her child off of their hands. When a parent is threatened with being taken to court because her child is not in school, due to the extreme emotional trigger it was causing and with professional approval, and told that the doctor's recommendation "doesn't exist because they have yet to receive it", that leads the parent to feel that she is fighting against an agency for her child's education, who's job legally is to provide her child that education.
Even the psychiatric professionals, whom are directly involved in my granddaughter's care, have expressed concern, irritation, and/or shock at the things our child's school staff have said. So, instead of looking forward to working together with her educational staff - we feel like we are going into another battle. Thankfully, we have the support of her crisis team, counselor's, and even state representatives that home studies is in her best interests. All, but the school, recognize that she has legitimate issues and that the classroom environment at that school has been detrimental to her mental and emotional well-being. Since she stopped attending, with the support of her family and professional team, there has been a noticeable improvement in her daily emotional state.
We do not discredit the importance of schooling. We have another child in the home who excels in her school and whom will remain attending a formal education in a classroom setting. This is important and there are no extenuating circumstances that would justify her not attending school.
However, when a school panel, who's job it is to see to the special needs of an individual student with physical and/or mental disabilities, fails to believe and/or adapt to that child's needs - then it is time to face off against them and demand action. We learned the hard way of not being proactive, of just accepting what we were told without a fight when we knew better. We will not be making that mistake again. I am beyond grateful that we now have the support and backing to continue fighting for my grandchild, when needed. Her health, be it mental or physical, is what is of most importance to us all. It would be nice to feel that we can get her back on track with her education, while still placing importance where it should be, instead of feeling like we are having to fight between the two priorities.
Hopefully, after tomorrow, we will all be on track with that goal.
FOLLOW UP - The meeting went as well as expected. I wasn't going to bring up any of the previously mentioned issues, but watching the school nurse's look of..... ? Anger? Irritation? Scorn? I don't really know what she was thinking, however I immediately knew that she was one of the ones claiming "manipulation" and other remarks discrediting my granddaughter's mental state, or minimizing it. I am glad that her crisis support team was there and found it faintly amusing (as well as disgusting) that suddenly everyone is so friendly and supportive. Now, I will work towards getting rid of this anger at a person, based on facial sneers, and just move forward.
I am learning more and more what not to accept though. And the potentially harmful attitudes of others, regardless of training and education, will not be accepted. I cannot stress enough the importance of being a proactive advocate for our children.
****Coming soon - we will be attending a parent-partner retreat tomorrow evening and will be receiving more resource information. I will be sharing all the resources I can get, as well as any helpful information I come across****
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