This has been a week of highs, lows and everything in between. We had to put our dog to sleep at the end of last week, so the adjustment of losing another beloved family member has been a big low point in our lives. However, it has been handled with sadness, of course, but without any crisis moments. That is huge progress for us, and one that we are very encouraged about.
Home schooling has officially started for our teen. She has a teacher come out to the house each day and give her assignments, as well as help tutor her with any areas she needs more detailed instructions. Initially, this caused me some anxiety, but only because of my nervousness over having people I don't know in my home. Still, it is needed to prevent our child from falling further behind than she already is. And it is the best thing that has happened, as far as her educational needs, in a very long time. She has a good rapport with her teacher. He is very caring and patient, but doesn't let her slack off either. A perfect balance for her. On the very same day that I was struggling to make her get motivated and get some of her assignments done, he managed to get her to complete 3-4 times the amount of work (in the same amount of time) than I had, simply by using patience while encouraging her yet with no acceptance of easing up. With his help, I can see her getting caught up on all of her credits, as she finishes out this school year in this way, as well as looking forward to eventually earning her diploma, instead of dropping out as soon as she is old enough (which had become her determined goal, much to our sadness).
We got involved in a gathering of other families, for a monthly "retreat". We are not well experienced with socializing, so a couple of us were anxious about being in a social group setting for two hours. One of the kids was very uncomfortable in the crowded kids group and either hung out with me in the adult group, or with one of her counselors in an empty office. But, by the end of the evening she too was engaging with her group. I think that we are all looking forward to the next event. I liked it so much that I found myself signing up for another group meeting for parents/guardians of elementary students in our school district.
We are also adjusting to even more new routines involving schooling and chores, and let me tell you that is typically a challenge for us all. It has been met with moments of frustration (mostly on my part), rebellion (of the normal standard of most children) and reluctant acquiescence. But, while it has been a rocky start, I can already see signs of improvement.
Like many families, this time of the month requires cooking creativity with a reduced food availability and ingredients, until we can replenish our groceries. This has been a definite "high point", as we are finding new favorite meals almost daily. I have even managed to create desserts, which hasn't been a regular feature of mealtimes in the past (but will be in the future!). We all look forward to mealtime, not just for the family togetherness we are discovering we love, but for the new budget creations.
So, what do we owe all of the positive changes to? It comes from an equal part of, on our part, being proactive, determination and commitment to our families healing - both individually and as a whole, and from the tremendous professional support that we are receiving. We have the support of multiple health agencies, State departments, and now the school as well. And I now believe that we likely have always had that support, or at least had the ability to receive it, but before it felt fractured and uneven. Now it feels like a huge multi-agency team, joining our family in providing the best course of action for our child's care.
It is wonderful to no longer feel like we are battling anyone for what is best for her, but working together to all mutually agree upon each stage of her care.
****Coming up... continual updates on our journey, as well as anything new that we find that can help other families achieve the level of support and resources that we now have****
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